Inching Forward

Our women's bible study went well this morning, happy for our time together.  My sister and I are waiting on our printed materials in order to fully launch our cake biz, which should be next week.  Hopefully, we will have all of the details nailed down regarding the commercial kitchen we anticipate baking out of by next week as well.  Looking forward to scheduling a Fall Open House to launch our product to our friends and neighbors as well in the next few weeks.  Trying to get proficient with Twitter and Facebook postings.  Self promotion is not in my comfort zone, but if you want a business, better have perfected the techno part of life to sing your song out there on the internet!   Even though I know God is present in our lives at this point, I don't have a tremendous sense of His presence.  I have a calm assurance that He is on this unchartered and uncertain journey with us, but I would really love a finite touch from heaven.  I could really use that about right now.  Still feeling sad for the reeling sense of loss over our business, especially for my previously always sweet husband.  He is having a very hard time, trying to determine what his place in life will be now.  He is starting BSF this coming Monday, so that will be a great way for him to connect with other men to study in a structured manner, and reduce some of his isolation.  This will be the first year we will ever have been in BSF together.  That will give us lots to talk about.   This is a good thing, rather than the doom and gloom of the obliterated economy, which I am really tired of talking/hearing about.  On a different note, this is the first anniversary of the passing of my precious gran.  I miss her alot.  She was so loved by my four sisters and myself for all of her 89 years (well deduct 38 because that is how old she was when my oldest sister was born!)  But we were crazy for her from jump, I am still so thankful that we had her as long as we did.  She was so cute, and marked my life forever.  In some ways, I am very glad that she is not here to see how much the country has deteriorated, even in one year, and how much some of her family members are struggling right now.  It would have worried her to death.  Even though she professed her Christian faith and was baptized, she fretted, A LOT!  I always told her "Gran, worrying is like being in a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but gets you  no were, Now Stop!  Plus, it is an absence of faith!  When I think of her, it still makes me tear up.  A few tears today, but a little progress as well.  Really living your life, actually being in it, in a cognitive, purposeful way is tough stuff.  But the hard parts make the good parts that much sweeter.  So the difficult life stuff ends up being so key and instrumental in the patchwork quilt of your life.  Think about it this way.  If all of our adventures and journeys in life only produced a breathtakingly beautiful patchwork square to add color to our lives, it would be lovely, but nowhere near as interesting as the patchwork areas that represent brokenness, loss, or areas of our lives that are flawed, or dark and ugly, or scarred.  For those areas are where we are most likely to meet Jesus on a deep, personal level.   All of the life pieces are needed to create that which is the masterpiece that Jesus is working out in all of us.  We would have no coping skills minus the tough stuff that shapes the development of our character.  From the words of a Rodgers and Hammerstein song "without a hurt, the heart is hollow".  It is all needed stuff as we sojourn along.  God is good, He's just quiet right now.  Good Night.

My Hope For Today

It was a rainy, gloomy day today.  Hard to feel motivated about much.  Starting up a new Beth Moore Bible study on Esther: Its Hard to Be A Woman.  Excited about the study, feeling a sense of panic that it might just be a few of us.  Why should I even care if it is just two people?  If God shows up, which HE will, that is all I need to concern myself with.  By the end of this evening, several people have now jumped on and are also excited about the study.  God is good.  Why do we all get wrapped around this performance thing?  The Lord doesn't need a PR person, and somehow, I end up thinking He does.  Looking forward to the morning. This is my hope for today:  Psalm 27:13,14 - I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord, be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.  

Different Life, New Adventures

I wanted to start a blog because I am not very disciplined at journaling on a regular basis.  I think it is important to be able to record God's presence in your life, especially when your life is in transition, even when it seems like there is no motion.   I want to look back, months from now, and see where God has taken me on this journey, to see His hand laying out the path on which to travel.

My husband and I have been very busy building a retail business over the past 22 years, which was successful up until the last three years.  Which by the way, have been dreadful.  After many tears, prayers, and exhausting every dollar we could get our hands on, we now find ourselves in quite a different position.  We are in the process of closing our business, my husband must find new employment, (by the way, he has not been unemployed since the tender age of 12!)   His whole identity has shifted.  From business owner, boss, and employer of many, to a middle aged guy now home looking for jobs on the internet.   It is not much fun.  He does not like it, and I feel very sad for him right now.  How did we get in this weird, awful place in the country economically?  I am confident that God will deal with the responsible parties that ushered in the graft and corruption that devastated so many people's financial well being.  On the other hand, God allowed the meltdown.  Clearly, a purpose will be served in all of our lives that have lived through this period of time in the U.S., especially if you were/are a small business owner.  Will we ever feel joy or happiness again?  For months now, it seems as if we will never feel anything but gloom.   But I know that is not true.  God is good, He will show up, and provide employment for my very good man.  We went from having a very good life, our entire married life, to worrying about potentially losing our home, our very last asset.  I know that this blog has been a bummer so far.  That is the point.  In order to be able to recognize the Lord's direction for the future, I have to be honest about where we are right now.  Unfortunately, sad, often discouraged, and displaced is where we find ourselves on this day.   So the starting point for the hopefully happier part of the journey is right now.

My sister and I have started baking a delicious & lovely little treat that we have gotten very good reviews on so far.  God has opened some doors, and we are walking through them, doors that I previously would have never even thought about.  So, as our baking biz expands, I will share the joys and challenges that come with our new adventure.

On a different note, this difficult patch in our family history has made me so appreciate having excellent friends.  When adversity comes along, it really does help you determine who your friends are.  A very wise good friend of mine shared with me that the only friends that  I should be concerned about being connected to are the ones God wants me connected to, relationships that He has sown and cultivated.  Very true.  Relationships which have no lasting value are really exposed when hard times arrive at your door.   But the sun will shine again, we will feel happy again some day.  Joel 2:25 -  The Lord promises us that He will replace the years the locusts have eaten.  (Weird verse, but great meaning).  Good Night.